my baby first birthday
I've been publishing my writing since 2015. Supposing this is a signficant marker, I've been a writer for six (!) years. To be clear, I don't believe one needs to publish to be a writer.
I knew (thank goodness) that publishing a book wouldn't change my life but I didn't expect the behind-the-scenes business of book publishing to be so... complicated and frustrating.
In late September, my publisher decided to cease printing Echoes. (Long story short, we had different interpretations of the contract.) A week later, Echoes was shortlisted for the 2021 Small Press Network Book of the Year Award. Then..... I won!!
The judges awarded the prize to Echoes and We are Speaking in Code by Tanya Vavilova. I found out a week before the announcement. I felt Echoes had a chance (I submitted it!) but the late night email was a shock. I ran to the bathroom to tell Mum and burst into tears.
I personally worked with booksellers to have Echoes stocked in at least one store in each capital city. Slow Burn sent Echoes to the abC Art Book Fair in Beijing and Tokyo Art Book Fair. Food Court Books in Wellington sold out!!! And I sent copies all around the world x
I love, love, love this line in Anthea Yang's recent review:
Here, water not only signifies life, but also the beginnings of the life Chua has carved out for herself.
And Lou Garcia-Dolnik's Goodreads review:
The moment I began this book I knew I'd want to savour it... but I couldn't stop myself from devouring it in a day!!! These three beautiful lyric essays are like "the sound... of a mother's womb", they're soft, playful and improvisational; generous and entangled—I so badly want to stay in the cradle of this book! I miss it already.
Yesterday morning, Roanna Gonsalves messaged to say she put Echoes on the reading list for a creative writing course she taught this year. I CRIED IN THE CAFE.
I haven't decided on 'what next'..... reprint (self-publish/go with another publisher) or let Echoes go (temporarily/permanently) out of print while I focus on a full-length collection.
I thought vaguely about 'what next' when I was shortlisted and again, when I learnt that I had won. I was/am ready to let Echoes go out of print. I share all this because ever since I started writing, I've wanted to be honest about the highs and the lows (2016 | 2018).
Don't be afraid to ask your publisher questions!!!!!
Even though I won, OMG the dissonance... to be outwardly successful and responding to everyone's warm messages while knowing Echoes is out of print.
Echoes has had an incredible run. Thank you for welcoming it into your homes and hearts and for giving it life beyond me. Thank you for seeing me and for making me less alone x
THANK YOU!!!!! I LOVE YOU xoxooxoxooxoxoxoxxo
P.S. This post takes its title from Jenny Zhang's second poetry collection. I often think about, and take courage from, her interview response on wanting to be smaller:
I missed the intimacy of poetry. I missed the immediacy of poetry. I was sick of telling narrative stories with a beginning, middle, and an end. I just wanted to go into a different place. And I also just wanted to be a little smaller. I know the ultimate goal is often to be bigger, and bigger, and bigger. But I guess I was interested in seeing if there was some other way to be.
