an unexpected fear

Partly out of necessity, partly choice, I've long been comfortable with my own company and doing things alone.

Concerts. Movies. Brunch. Dinner. Drinks. Travelling.

(Some find this strange. Others admirable.)

I love my 'independence', to the point of selfishness.

But my last night in New York, it cornered me.

A fear I'd never before acknowledged.

Terrified of spending that last night alone.

Afraid like I'd never been before.

.....

Sat at the bar, scribbling madly. Tears trickling.

He asked me if I was writing a diary. "Yes." 

Why I was in New York.

Me: vacation. He: training.

He showed me a photo of his 'crew'. His wife and four children (two boys aged 8 and 10, two girls aged 1 and 3).

I said I couldn't imagine having children. "Too scared of messing up their lives." (Still am...)

He assured me, "You have a good head on your shoulders."

I laughed, "I hope so."

So. In the end, it was a gentleman from Tennessee who restored my faith in humanity.

Saw my tears and thought I had lost a friend, a boyfriend or was leaving. (Two out of three.)

I'll always be grateful that he spoke to me that night.

Oh, how much a small act of kindness can mean.