an·tic·i·pa·tion

I bought A Start in Life by Anita Brookner, based on its cover.

A witty tragicomedy, I haven't decided if I like it (does it matter?) but I did laugh at this:

Richard was due at eight o'clock on Tuesday evening. Ruth woke at her habitual early hour of six and wondered how she was going to fill the day. With anticipation, naturally. That is how most women in love fill their day. Frequently the event anticipated turns out to be quite dull compared with the mood that preceded it.

Despite mourning summer, I have much to look forward to and to keep me busy:

1. Michelle Law's play Single Asian Female in Brisbane this Friday

2. FINALLY meeting Yen-Rong and picking up issue 1 of Pencilled In

3. The blog post I wrote for Stella Prize on 'No One Way to be Asian in Australia'

4. Writing a little something (secret, for now) for You Are Here festival (5 - 9 April)

5. Making my first zines for Noted writers' festival (3 - 7 May)

Apart from edits to the Stella piece and You Are Here / Noted deadlines, I've been relatively free.

I'm not going to lie. 

Part of me feels I should be hustling. I should be pitching, writing and applying for residencies.

But what if you no longer trust yourself, let alone your words?

(everyone else knows what they're doing. or seems to.)

The Bloody Chamber (title story) by Angela Carter

At cross-roads, I turn to books for answers. (old habits)

Post-breakup, I tried lite-philosophy (Alain de Botton). Two years on, feminist writings.

This time, my salve is fiction.

Since the beginning of 2017, I have read 19 (!) books. Bold = loved, will read again.

- Where The Light Falls by Gretchen Shirm

- Our Magic Hour by Jennifer Down

- Skylarking by Kate Mildenhall

- A Start in Life by Anita Brookner

- The White Album and Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion (essay collections)

- Silver Sister by Lillian Ng

- Love and Vertigo by Hsu-Ming Teo

- Playing House by Amy Choi

- A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers, 20 Fragments of a Ravenous Youth and Lovers in the Age of Indifference by Xiaolu Guo

- Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl by Carrie Brownstein (memoir)

- Here Come The Dogs by Omar Musa

- Wood Green by Sean Rabin

- The Turner House by Angela Flournoy

- The Vegetarian by Han Kang

- The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

- Formaldehyde by Jane Rawson

I haven't read so much fiction since I was a child.

It feels good.

Current read: Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Madeleine Thien

A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers by Xiaolu Guo

20 Fragments of a Ravenous Youth by Xiaolu Guo