darkest before dawn

it's been quiet blog-wise.

but not life-wise. i'm so glad july is over.

bursting into tears. again. and again.

until the days blur into one.

and you can't remember which day you said what.

.....

when your beloved laptop refuses to charge, you clutch it to your chest and give up. the shops you try have closed. for good.

it would normally tip you over.

but you just don't have the tears (or energy) left. telling.

turning sadness into anger helps. momentarily.

the person you could always count on to understand, doesn't. 

and that scares you.

what truly helps is confiding in friends.

friends who you would trust your deepest, darkest secrets with.

bit by bit, the grey lifts.

you shudder to think about the alternative.

such a fine line. 

between feeling ok, not ok, and spiralling.

p.s. i bought a new charger for the laptop. and it worked.